I am genuinly worried about one of my closest friends. She's 14 and for quite a while now she's not been eating anything throughout the whole of the school day. She is very self-concious and is always making comments like "I'm fat, I wish I was thin and pretty" Today in PE I noticed her arms seemed really flimsy, she finished last in the distance race and didn't seem to have a lot of energy. I have talked to a few of my other friends about it and they have just said stuff like "It's not your problem, don't worry about it" I have also tried sensitivly talking to her about it, that didn't go too well, she insists she's eating normally and she just isn't hungry at lunchtimes. She's got a prefectionist personality (which a lot of people with eating disorders have) and I'm scared that she'll take this too far. Has anyone got any ideas of how I can help her? I just want her to be her normal happy self.
Thanx, ~Katie~
Answer:
Hi KatieAs a woman with an eating disorder (Bulimia) i have no sure answers, your friend is lucky that she has a good friend (you) that is there for her.
My suggestions would be that you do not push her to admit that she has a problem, just tell her that if there is anything that she is worried about, or wants to talk about, that your ears are always free for her.do NOT mention an eating disorder, as she will just clam up even more, and get VERY defensive.Well done for being such a great friend, but remember that people with eating disorders are ILL, and if you are VERY worried about her, they just be there for her,or maybe mention it to a teacher if you think its a good idea, but she will get better when SHE is better...Good luck, hope that helps!
I think its time you talk about your concerns with a conselor at school or your parents. She needs help, more than you can give. Be there for her and be supportive in the mean time.
this is an issue for her parents to hear about. don't go to the school counselor though your friend with be more likely to listen to family. she will need counseling and lots f emotional support from her friends and family. get her help ASAP. good luck.
KatieEating disorders are very complex, she needs to be directed towards help - if she will take it. Be supportive %26 honest with her, she will needs close freinds to just be there for her. Pam
She needs professional help. Tell her parents. If you're too scared, tell your parents to tell her parents. Or you can at least tell a school counselor
tell her parents and tell them about the issue that is the best way I believe.
You should tell her parents of your concerns. Being her parents hopefully they can keep a closer eye on her, and if they also notice something strange in her eating habits they would hopefully get her some help. If talking to her parents is not an option for you, mabe you should see a school counselor or a favorite teacher of yours, someone who could help. Meanwhile do your best to build her confidence with nice compliments, that always helps me when I feel bad about myself.
Please don't make a real big deal out of it the more anyone tries to control her eating habits the worst she will become Eating order are usually about control they feel the rest or there life is out of control or someone else controls it so they can truly control what they eat.It is a very dangerous problem for some people Me and my daughter have an eating disorder we can do day with little food but then our body want food and we eat every thing I one to truly be worried about is binging and purger that is hard on the body plus it starts happening natural there are sign to look for at first so you will know if your friend has started this and if she has you need to be a friend and tell her parents if they do nothing keep tell school counselor,whoever until someone helps her, Signs are going to the bathroom right far she eats,grabbing,hands that look raw.good luck keep being there for her
You are obviously a caring person but to alleviate this problem you have to be sensible.First don't involve others, they probably already know. If you do "grass her up" she will hate you and you will no longer be able to help her.Ask your or her Doctor for advice, if you can find an expert in this field talk to them.Be supportive and even if she doesn't like it tell her how thin she is.Try to find something she likes to eat and basically feed it to her.Most of all don't avoid talking about the situation, it won't come out into the open If you don't.
OK, I think you're British so there are no school counsellors. I would tell her that you are not worried about her, that not eating lunch is an unhealthy habit and that she obviously needs the energy. Then tell her parents about your concern. Youy could also call the Eating Disorders helpline on 0845 634 7650.
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